Father’s Day can be a celebration for some families, but for many New Zealanders it can also bring grief, loneliness and unresolved emotions.

Nutters Club Host Hamish Williams and Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald used the Father’s Day edition of the show to explore the different ways people experience fatherhood, including bereavement, separation, infertility, difficult family relationships and step-parenting.

MacDonald said people should feel free to experience the day in whatever way was right for them, rather than feeling pressured to conform to the traditional picture of Father’s Day.

For those who find the occasion particularly difficult, he said it was also acceptable to effectively “opt out”, including avoiding advertising and social media reminders if necessary.

Williams shared his own experience of losing his father when he was four, recalling how difficult Father’s Day activities at school could be as a child.

Now a stepfather himself, Williams said the day had taken on a different meaning, particularly as he had learned to trust that the affection and recognition he received from his stepchildren was genuine.

The show also explored the difference between simply being a biological father and becoming a “Dad”.

MacDonald said being a dad was fundamentally about the relationship: being present, caring, supportive, trustworthy and helping children navigate the wider world.

Listeners contributed experiences ranging from deeply positive relationships to abuse, estrangement and loss.

One caller, Dan, described reconnecting with his former stepson years after the end of his marriage. After the young man later moved in with him, their relationship strengthened until he asked if he could begin calling Dan “Dad”.

Dan, who had never had biological children, said the moment left him close to tears.

“To me, you don’t have to be a biological father,” he told the show, saying being a stepfather meant “stepping up” and demonstrating fatherhood through actions rather than words.

Other listeners described raising children alone, grieving fathers who had died decades earlier, navigating relationships with absent or abusive parents, and watching their own children become caring fathers.

MacDonald said complicated feelings should not necessarily be avoided, particularly when grief was involved.

The discussion ultimately highlighted that Father’s Day does not have a single meaning.

For some, it is a day of celebration and gratitude. For others, it can expose loss or painful relationships.

But Williams said one common theme was the importance of acknowledgement and letting the people who have played meaningful parental roles know they are valued.